On March 14, 2017 I lost my best friend to leukemia. Today is her first heavenly birthday. Today we celebrate her life while we continue to miss her daily. When Ami turned 40 she was still very sick and we always talked about how we would celebrate her big birthday as soon as she was well enough to celebrate big. We talked about taking a trip to the beach since she loved the beach. That celebration never happened, but I know that the celebration she is having in Heaven today is beyond anything we could have dreamed of here on earth. Today I would like to share the words I wrote on the day that we lost Ami. It sums up all of my emotions and thoughts. I love you, Ami Paige Brown!
Written March 14, 2017.
I have been in a state of shock today and I haven’t really known what to say even though I want to say something before this day ends. I want you to know that I truly believed that Ami would always make it through and that she would always be here with us. I could not sleep last night after I found out she had taken a turn and was placed in ICU. There was something in my heart and in my gut that felt sick. My husband and I held hands and prayed and asked God to please heal Ami’s body and cover her in His protection. Paul knew I couldn’t sleep because I was so worried so he reminded me at 12:30am that Ami’s life is in God’s hands and we have to put complete trust in Him.
I woke this morning feeling anxious because I was not able to make contact with anyone to update about what was going on with Ami. I had checked my phone every hour on the hour all night long and I was starting to get more worried. When I learned that Ami was no longer with us, I fell to my knees and cried harder than I think I’ve ever cried. I felt so upset at God because I just didn’t understand why He had to take her. She had her whole life ahead of her and she has three kids who need their mommy.
Needless to say, it has been a difficult day, but I know God’s plans are not our plans and His ways are not our ways. I am going to keep looking to Him and trusting in Him with every ounce of my being because I have to give it all to Him. He chose to bring Ami home today, and even though I will never understand it, I do know that I will get to see my sweet friend again when we join her in heaven one day.
My heart had been hurting deeply knowing that Ami was in so much pain. I prayed God to please ease her pain and give her peace. Ami is free from all sickness and she is no longer in pain. I know she was excited to see her Ninny and Walley and many more loved ones today. I’m sure they are all rejoicing together. I will remind myself daily that we will see Ami again one day.
I want to share a little bit about Ami so that each of you who have never met her in person can have a glimpse into the amazing human that she was. Ami loved Jesus and she loved her sweet church family who provided so much support for her and her family the past three years. She was a wife, mom, sister, aunt, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, granddaughter, cousin, friend, and so much more. She was truly loved by everyone who had the chance to know her. She loved her family and especially her three kids, Whit, Chandler, and Beckett. Those three were her entire life.
Ami would always make me laugh because she is the only person I know who worried more than me. Ami loved to keep things and she had a difficult time throwing away items especially anything that had any ounce of sentimental value including toys and baby clothes. I would try to help Ami organize and clean even though it was always overwhelming with the amount of stuff she had. One of the last times I helped with the organizing and cleaning, she pulled out a bunch of plastic tubs to sort through only to realize after we had sorted them that they were the same tubs we had organized, sorted, and labeled a month earlier. We have laughed a lot about that day.
Ami had a heart of gold. She was a Special Education Teacher at Jenks Public Schools and she loved working with her kids. I remember the day after she was diagnosed one of her former students came to visit her in the hospital. She made an impact on so many lives and she left a legacy that will never be forgotten and will live on in her children.
Ami was compassionate, caring, loving, generous, and truly the strongest, bravest person I have ever known. She stood up against this sickness with fist in the air and she fought the toughest fight of her life. She has been through hell and back since June 19, 2014 and I’m thankful she doesn’t have to go through anymore of this fight. Some would say she lost the fight, but I think she won because she is forever standing glorious with our Heavenly Father and we will all get to see her again one day.
Ami was my best friend and I will never forget her friendship, her sweet smile, her laugh, or her love for anything related to vampires.;) My heart is broken because I can’t pick up the phone to call my friend or run over to her house to see her for a minute. I miss my brave and mighty Ami. I don’t know how long this sadness will last, but I’m going to do my best to keep your spirit and memory alive.
My heart is not only sad for my loss but my heart has a deeper sadness for Ami’s family. Ami was like a sister to me and her family was just like family. Please pray for God to cover Ami’s family in a peace that passes all understanding. Pray for her husband, Kyle C Brown, and their three children. Please pray for her sister Kari Whitlow Purdie and her husband and their two children. Please pray for her dad and her mom because I can’t imagine the pain they are experiencing losing their daughter. Please pray for her brother, Zach, and her sweet grandmother and many aunts and cousins all over who love her and have been by her side every step of the way.
Ami Whitlow-brown, you are forever loved! I miss you so much already and I will never forget the lifetime of memories we have made in 24 years of friendship. I love you always! ❤️
Happy Heavenly Birthday! I hope you are having the most wonderful heavenly birthday celebration today. xoxo